It's the New Year and I am in PUSH mode. I don't know why, but at the turn of every year there is this unspoken pressure and anxiousness about having goals and meeting goals. Last year I filmed a special and this year I need to SELL the special. Last year I had a full calendar and this year I need EVEN MORE!!! MARKETING, DO MORE MARKETING!!! But do I need to? Really? Even if I do... do I need to do it ALL right now?
This morning as I walked home from my weekly Bible Study with my father-in-law I took notice of the melting snow. It had been SOOO pretty with the sparkling ice and snow covering everything, but now it is raining and the gravel and the mud are exposed and mixing with the slushy goop and it's GROSS. That said, it had been so cold and my appreciation for the beauty was from inside. Even though the facade of perfection is gone, I am outside and it's warmer and the birds are singing and Spring feels much closer than it did a week ago. Even though the melt exposes the mess, the melt is good. Today my gross ravenous appetite for validation is exposed, but it's also melting along with the stress.